Mainers offer 6 tips for family caregivers
Maine Caregivers Share Wisdom Amid Growing Demand for Senior Services
South Berwick – In a state where the share of residents 65 and older is rising faster than the national average, the voices of those who keep their loved ones safe and healthy are gaining attention. From daily hospital trips to advocacy in nursing homes, Maine caregivers are charting a path that balances responsibility with self‑care.
A 5‑Year Journey in South Berwick
Karen Groves, 69, has been the primary caregiver for her 93‑year‑old mother, Jean, for half a decade. The family lives in South Berwick, just a few miles from Berwick Estates, an assisted‑living community where Jean receives round‑the‑clock care.
“Every day I’m there,” Groves told Maine News Now at her home, a retired engineer who once worked at the Portsmouth Naval Shipyard. “I take her to dialysis twice a week, then to appointments for her hair, check‑ups, and other medical needs.”
Jean’s health has been precarious: she’s been hospitalized four times this year alone, a fact that has left Groves feeling “very tied down,” she said. “Once a year, one of my kids can cover for me for a few days, then I can go away without waiting for the phone to ring. Last year I went to Vermont for four days, and that mental break was amazing.”
Her story underscores a broader challenge that Maine’s aging population faces: the toll of constant vigilance on the caregiver’s own well‑being.
AARP Maine’s Role in Supporting Residents
The American Association of Retired Persons (AARP) Maine works to empower people 50 and older, providing advocacy, programs, and benefits designed to strengthen communities and promote financial security. In partnership with local agencies, AARP Maine offers resources that can help families like the Groves reduce the caregiving burden—everything from transportation services to respite care.
“Caregivers need the same support as the seniors they care for,” said a spokesperson for AARP Maine. “We’re here to help make that transition smoother.”
Lessons from a Portland Book‑Author
Nancy Jo Polito, 78, of Portland, has spent most of her life caring for her mother, Isabel Profenno Polito, who passed away in 2010 at 93. Polito’s memoir, Taking Care of Business: Tales of a Caregiver, chronicles her experience—from helping around the house from the age of five to managing her mother’s care after a fall at 89 forced a move to a skilled nursing facility.
“You just can’t admit someone and walk away and feel good about it,” Polito said. “You have to be an advocate to make sure they’re getting the right care.” She added, “I was told I was too pushy, but they like it when you don’t come in all the time.”
Polito’s book offers a roadmap for caregivers, highlighting the importance of staying involved, asking questions, and monitoring the quality of care.
Practical Advice From the Front Lines
Across Maine, caregivers have distilled their experiences into a set of actionable tips:
| # | Tip | Key Takeaway |
|---|---|---|
| 1 | Advocate for your loved one | Regular visits, phone calls, and documentation keep caregivers in the loop. |
| 2 | Know your resources | Organizations like Age Maine and local social service agencies can connect you to programs, transportation, and respite care. |
| 3 | Consult an elder‑law attorney | These professionals handle wills, trusts, powers of attorney, and long‑term care planning, easing future uncertainty. |
| 4 | Put family drama aside | Unified decision‑making lightens the emotional load. |
| 5 | Prioritize self‑care | Engaging in hobbies, exercise, or volunteer work keeps caregivers from burning out. |
| 6 | Cut yourself some slack | It’s unrealistic to do everything; acknowledging limits reduces guilt. |
Marvella Heard, 56, of Biddeford, who cares for her 79‑year‑old father, stresses the need to “be resourceful.”
Clare Herrmann, 78, Portland, found peace after meeting an elder‑law attorney with her husband, saying the meeting “takes all the questions out of it.”
Navigating the Maze of Federal and State Guidelines
Maine’s rural communities, where many seniors live, face shortages of skilled workers and complicated Medicare regulations. The Press Herald notes that “the stress of rural isolation, a shortage of workers, and complicated federal Medicare guidelines” make caregiving especially daunting. AARP Maine and other local partners offer guidance on navigating these complexities, from qualifying for Medicare benefits to understanding the rights of residents in assisted living.
A Call to Care
The stories of Karen Groves, Nancy Jo Polito, and others remind Maine’s leaders that aging is not just a demographic shift—it’s a call to action for the entire community. By bolstering support systems—through advocacy groups, legal aid, and community programs—Maine can help families like Groves and Polito maintain both the health of their elders and their own quality of life.
“Caregivers are the backbone of our aging population,” said a representative of AARP Maine. “They deserve the same level of support and respect that the seniors they care for receive.”
For more information on resources available to caregivers, visit the AARP Maine website, Age Maine, or contact the Maine State Bar Association’s Lawyer Referral Service.
